blinded blue teddy

Children

2012-02-13T23:12:00.001+05:30

Oh we came out, shining, silver, covered in dreams

Bringing wonder, amazement, oh a beautiful hello

Some imagination, music, poetry, destruction

Hanging on to colours we painted

In your mind

Before we were born

We knew them already

We saw them with unopened eyes

Another shimmering blue dream

Red streaking through

The saxophone and piano

Kisses, oh love.

We left you wordless

Soundless

Breathless

Your heart as light as a raindrop

Fell, dissipated.

- push, jan’12

the furry playlist :6

2011-12-22T19:19:00.004+05:30

sorry took so long, been extra- super, double whipped up, over- the- top, under the sea, over the sky, stuck in the middle, over the hill, make it a double, make it a triple- busy.

So hear it eej!

1) Mafia Bianca LLC - I Am Changing

2) Ben Kweller- Better With You

and Magic.

3) Joe Satriani - A cool new way

4) Buckethead- Nottingham Lace (thanks jazz :P)

5) MC Solaar - La Belle Et Le Bad Boy

ta-ta.

my (hell of a cutie) cat

2011-11-15T20:31:00.004+05:30

my secret letter to you

2011-11-15T20:13:00.000+05:30

my secret letter to you

okay, so there was that moment when you stood up and you took it. it kept on coming like rain on a stormy day and the dam had burst but you were standing there, on the edge but yet strong and there was that thought going through your mind.

on a better day, you’ll laugh. when all the bubbles have burst, the rain will feel like nothing but a good warm shower. you would have felt so much, that the fist you clenched the words you held within became silence, and silence was your weapon, knowing it will speak for you, delivered with a smile.

I’ll be there beside you holding on to you, you’re my rock. and when they crash against you they break, they don’t know what hit them.

I feel you.

Every breath you take cautious and cold. its never easy to imagine things- how they will unfold, who’ll be your friend, what your experiences can make you.. but its really not that much of a mystery...its really how you’ll respond to things that will shape the outcome.

But you know that.

We fight alone. despite the love, the protection, we fight. we become our friend. we learn. but because everything you do, you do for us, I cant explain how much that means to me.

So when that storm was crashing in.. I’m glad you didn’t run and hide. Didn’t take any shelter. You let it all go. You let it show you the worst. Because once you’d seen that, you changed. Nothing can shake you since.

Its crazy. Things I would have never experienced I’m living through you.

I feel pain when you feel pain. I feel anger when you feel anger. I can break someone’s face when you tell me they hurt you. But I’m like a useless book.. all I can do is talk to you, and I can never make it better. I can never do anything.

I love you. I sincerely believe if there’s one man who can deal with real situations its you. if there is one man who can have a tornado and a sandstorm thrown at him at once and would still survive – its you. if there’s one man who can make miracles.. its you.

and that’s why, you’re the one I want for good..

because with you in my life, I know I’ll make it. no matter what.

--
push

where i've been, made, seen, felt...

2011-11-15T19:58:00.009+05:30

all images are the property of the blog owner. Kindly do not use any image for personal or commercial purpose.

The Furry Playlist5. lotsa old loves..not forgotten though

2011-10-11T13:29:00.004+05:30

Trickbaby - Fighter

Wax Tailor - Am I Free

Zero – PSP 12"

Adele - Someone Like You

Gotye -Somebody That I Used To Know feat. Kimbra

Marlon Roudette - New Age

nnnnnnnnnnnnnjoyie.
Push

the furry playlist- 4

2011-09-06T23:45:00.002+05:30

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had.

Royksopp- Beautiful Day Without You

Ian Pooley - What's Your Number

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll

Porcupine Tree - Strip The Soul

We're an old oil painting

2011-08-06T10:40:00.000+05:30

We're an old oil painting
Beneath the dust
Colours ablaze
Framed
Hung on a wall
In the centre
Of the room

Gloom
Had died behind us
And joy was sipping wine
Love was all over us
Time was slow to find
Us
We we were smiling
Your hand in mine

We're an old oil painting
Lending our moment
To searching eyes
Through the years
We haven't faded

Brown, the brown in your eyes
I love the artist
He's gifted, he knows
Just how the light glides

How many twists he planned
With the slight brush in his hand
Till the moment we finally met
Was finally found and love

Love, love in my eyes
We're an old oil painting
Hung on a wall
In the centre
Of the room

In my heart.
Glowing, the bulbs
Its a gallery
Within
You painted in moments
In colours..

My love..
-
push

what i've been upto...

2011-07-16T15:16:00.004+05:30

they're finally here!

C major

2011-07-07T19:27:00.003+05:30

I was drawing you, gently in my mind, over a long period of time. I drew and drew thinking I knew every detail. But you’d erase everything I make. You’d change, you’d move away. I was trying to take your picture with my eyes so I could have you forever.

You…you are like a wave. You just blast your way through. You break all the bridges till there's no land and no sea. There's no you and no me.

Only us.

-Push

the Furry Playlist-III

2011-07-07T18:43:00.007+05:30

John Mayer- I Don't Trust Myself
Eskobar- Move on
Mr. Mister- The Tube
Travis- Driftwood
A Perfect Circle- The Noose
Orquesta Del Plata- Montserrat

enjoy!
-push

love note

2011-06-30T00:56:00.001+05:30

because you're mine
i know i can
send you things
thoughts
moments
and dreams

.....and rain

sunshine too
although you've got
most of that
in your trouser pocket.

2011-06-30T00:51:00.000+05:30

High-ness.

2011-06-29T22:02:00.001+05:30

Oh it’s my heart

Ticking like time

-push

the Furry Playlist-2

2011-06-16T11:39:00.003+05:30

Hot Chip- So Deep
Mindless Self Indulgence- Shut Me Up
Medina- Velkommen til Medina (radio edit)
Emiliana Torrini- Jungle Drum
INNA - Sun is UP

:)
push

pattern love...

2011-05-30T19:06:00.002+05:30

fooling around with my two loves- fonts and patterns..

The Furry Playlist.

2011-05-29T11:29:00.003+05:30

My darling friends. I've been complimented all too often for my playlists. So I'm gonna put this up from time to time.. what I'm listening to.
About 5 songs that are just doing IT for me right now, baby.
I'm gonna call it The Furry Playlist.
(Furry, bear, teddy.. get it right? laugh a little, no do it because its polite..)

Caro Emerald - The Lipstick On His Collar
John Mayer Trio- Vultures
Guthrie Govan- Killing Floor
Caro Emerald - That Man
John Mayer- Crossroads

Spat of the Week

2011-05-29T11:21:00.001+05:30

Happiness makes you fat.
Really.

straight trees and swingers,

2011-04-24T21:55:00.001+05:30

the wind blows
moves the trees\
sway sway and stay\
rooted to the ground
but all those
who cant do the dance
straight as an arrow
dont stand a chance.

push

//////////////////shadows/////

2011-04-24T21:46:00.004+05:30

shadow like memories
cloud my mind
we're too old
we remember and regret
that our moments have passed
the time gone

i close my eyes and
alive and again
there we were
like everyday that was
fragrant of you
i cant take it all in
i never could

the shadows lie over me
over us, over our time
like your face in the candlelight
we feel it reaching out
and making us dream again

i'm so scared
scared we'll lose to the shadows
the brilliant colours will fade
we'll be alone watching
shadows behind us
shadows around us

(i'm going to\
wrap your hands in mine\ hold that time
till the shadow begins to glow
begins to flow
into us)

push

like a baby

2011-04-13T19:52:00.003+05:30

I feel like a baby. And it’s the best feeling in the world. It’s a feeling I’ve not had since forever. Since I guess I really was a child. It made me feel wonderful. Like I was tiny and vulnerable. Like a little kitten.  haha!
My parents have always been protective. In fact they have this lovely balance that I don’t know how they manage to have. They stand by and watch me walk away. I had my own driver and car to take me to college everyday. My mom would always be there. My dad would make sure everything’s always ok, that I always have the best. He shouldn’t worry, because I have him. My brother went out of his way during my teenager life to lay down the law with any misbehaving character.

I thought those days were a little behind me. At least so I thought. I’m a grown woman. Independent…to a fault. Live in a bit of a bubble, guilty about being a little ignorant of chores. But I don’t like anyone doing anything for me. I just don’t expect it.
So then there was this sweet moment. It’s a little late at night, and I’m driving home. My dad shows up.
Makes me drives right behind his car. Slows down and finds me if another car gets in the middle.
I felt like such a baby!

-push

p.s. my bf is always treating me like a baby. (thank you :*) But when the parents treat you like a baby its just deja vu!

bits and pieces

2011-04-13T19:32:00.001+05:30

life doesn’t last forever. There’s no right age to “live it up” and there’s no age to die. There’s no age to start earning for your entire family if you have to, there’s no age to feel stressed out. There’s no age to dream. There’s no age to donate, no rule to be rich. There’s no bank balance requirement to help someone out. There’s nothing called the perfect size, the most beautiful woman on earth, nothing called a fairytale marriage, nothing about being flawless, about being constantly right, always on time, being the best friend, mother, sister daughter or just plain “being the best”.

push

album and album art I adore

2011-03-29T12:14:00.002+05:30

just. pure. happiness.

random conclusion

2011-03-10T16:18:00.000+05:30

We get lost in our little judgmental natures, and the people we judge climb over our heads and shine.
-push

messages.

2011-03-01T00:04:00.000+05:30

cigarette smoke

2011-02-28T23:36:00.001+05:30

The sun rises and sets. Between dreams I’ve forgotten you’ve changed and my life’s moved on. I’m caught in that nightmare where you’re letting go and I’m wondering why.
I’ve hidden the cards you made, the words you said. The friendship beads you slipped around my wrist, the secrets you whispered in my ears. Like cigarette smoke they made intricate designs in the air but meaningless, as they shaped according to air, and disappeared.
I hid everything but I am yet to fully hide the memories that play in my head, maybe I had hurriedly swallowed time, but never forgotten the flavor.
So you make your way to me now, even though in reality, you talk to the people you swore were never your type, you’re walking away so fast from me that you’re running, you hate because I remind you of what you’re becoming but you’re forgetting I don’t even know what that is.

I thought it was fair to fight it out, right it out, confide but never hide.
I have made mistakes, I know what they are, I meant to apologize. I do. I see you logging in and signing out, and I don’t say a word.
I type a letter in my head an hour later, I’m writing it now, people who don’t know me would’ve read but you would’ve never heard.

Push

when life starts to standardize.

2011-02-21T15:39:00.001+05:30

will he?

2011-01-29T18:00:00.002+05:30

The TV these days seems all about love and romance although those are the things glaringly missing. It's getting scary. Will he won't he? More importantly, are we on TV?

-push

So...wake up!

2011-01-18T14:31:00.005+05:30

I just cant seem to wake up early. Its really upsetting cause I got a gym membership and everything in attempts to get fitter, because I need to do a lot more in my life than before. There's a whole lot of driving, traveling and stress.
So after going to the gym three days instead of thirty, I'm wondering how did I get here and what the hell to do.

Things that kept me from getting up and going to the gym:

1) Not enough support from friends. Now I kept listening to "Oh YOU? going to the GYM? WHY? you're THIN! No way, you're not gonna last even a day. You just CANT. I know you too well." Well you know what, that doesn't help. I really didn't know that I can't do what I put my mind to. I had no idea that's the impression you guys had, and it just pushed me to take it easy.

2) Waking up early. Tried gymming in the evening but I would be stuck in office, driving or chilling with friends... learnt the hard way evenings are NOT free for me.

3) Not being completely convinced that gymming is right for me... I mean there's belly dancing (lol), yoga, aerobics... isn't gymming like... boring?

4) Becoming overconfident.. "if I get fat, I'm sure I'll lose it.."

5) Not being FULLY DETERMINED!! AAAARRRGH I HAVE TO DO THIS!

I'm guessing ALL my problems will be solved if:

1) I WAKE UP EARLY

2) I don't discuss my gym plan with anyone but supportive people (i know who they are now)

3) Action out the two points above.

Well here's to me!

best of bloody luck.

edit:

"...Think about it — if you oversleep just 30 minutes a day, that’s 180+ hours a year. And if you’re at 60 minutes a day, that’s 365 hours a year, the equivalent of nine 40-hour weeks. That’s a lot of time! Now I don’t know about you, but I can think of more creative things to do with that time than lying in bed longer than I need to.."

Something i found from: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-get-up-right-away-when-your-alarm-goes-off/

new blog image

2011-01-08T14:10:00.001+05:30

"The scene plays on
With an enchanting song
Within my head
Against a shade of red.

Reflections in the mirror
Stare at me
A face I can’t remember
Is all I can see"
Push
http://blindedblueteddy.blogspot.com/2007/10/regret.html

inspired by something i wrote.
tell me how you find it.

Faraway Train

2010-12-21T13:06:00.002+05:30

wrote this when i was on tour, for almost a week, travelling by train & missing the man..

Faraway Train

Delicate sunlight
Filtering from within the leaves
The spiders weave
And the gentle breeze

A little hello
Was carried a long way
Spoken by precious lips
My memory can't slip

I wait and wonder
When I will hold your hand in mine
When time will really be time
And the words will effortlessly rhyme

Like the sunlight
I hope you feel me
Like warmth on your skin
Light in your eyes
and smile

The sky's fade fast
But the world waits
For the sunlight
To bring them light again

You are my light
Bright, my heart
I'm on a Faraway train
But with you still
Until..

..The sunlight
Shines in the world
Filtering from within the leaves
Through windows of tall concrete
And the gentle breeze...

- push

Miss-ery.

2010-12-14T22:44:00.003+05:30

When the phone didn’t ring

The words didn’t bring

A smile to my face

I wondered why

I stopped feeling alive

Wandering in my mind alone

and in my car

The radio playing on mute

Somehow I’ve lost

Something I cant explain

I’m breaking my head

But the tension in my heart

Whispers again

Nothing’s no good without you

You’re gonna think of me

And I wont

Turn around

Make a sound

Acknowledge you

Maybe then you’ll see…

-Push

Going Blank.

2010-12-04T11:30:00.002+05:30

I think working has finally ruined me. Can't think freely like I used to.

Moments come to me, but they're to faint to grow.

I was travelling before but then my blackberry began to distract me.

and instead of looking out and up at the sky, I was looking into its screen.

And what's the point of staying in touch

When I'm losing myself so much?

Maybe I need a holiday. But somehow like clockwork every morning I dismiss that thought and just make my list of tasks. But this is one space that saves me. Black space on the internet. Who knows who views it? But I write for me. Because sometimes you need to record things to remind yourself what you're about.

I'm not going to blank out. I'm going to keep this teddy alive and swimming into dreams and glowing with life.

- Push

the same song

2010-10-04T11:40:00.000+05:30

she opens the music box
she fills music
into the air
in a stranger's stare

the man and woman
come alive
as the key turns
the heart burns

in circles
they move
silently lost
to be faintly found

what they feel
is not what they reveal
secrets concealed

yet the music box
plays on and on
the same song

the same song

January 13, 2008
push

I told someone..

2010-10-04T11:23:00.001+05:30

it was about how your other half becomes your whole world... like, why is that??

"Yeah I guess you're right.
But I guess its because loneliness hurts so much more, that when you have someone to share, be there you want to spend time, spend your energy on them. But losing your identity is something else. When you lose sight of what you were, when that someone started loving you, you're depriving them of the real you, and yourself.
I'd say- Be in love. Build that universe. Build your world bigger than its been, bring in all your little habits, your past, present, future, your friends, your mom and your granny. But be in it, as you, the real you, always. "
Push

Sometimes

2010-10-04T11:10:00.002+05:30

Sometimes the problem is that you just cant seem to stand and watch,
and sometimes the problem is that you just stood and watched.

-push

just wanted to say it.

2010-09-23T19:21:00.002+05:30

Bubble.
Pop.
Electric.

words floating in my head.

florescent chewing gum.

neon pink.

the images floating in my head.

I should probably get to PSD now.

awwdi!

2010-09-21T22:08:00.002+05:30

climbs up my desk, ended up doodling him while workin' ;p

She was made out of rain

2010-09-08T17:15:00.001+05:30

She was made out of rain
How else could I explain
The maiden who appeared in the mist
But suddenly didn’t exist?

I saw her
The rain trickled off her
Swam around her
Like an obedient child
Trying to please
Or did my eyes
Deceive me?

Vivid colours reflected
Deflected
She was there.
A shape
Sparkling, alive
A face.

I inched closer to her
I inched closer
To hear

With the sound of the rain
She was gone
And the road was
Empty

I bent down
Touched the water
Put it on my face
It was real
But it couldn’t erase

What I had seen
The girl made out of rain
How else
Can I explain…

-Push July2010

You can't lock anything really.

2010-09-08T17:10:00.002+05:30

You can't lock anything really.
So why bother locking your heart?

Five minute fights.

2010-08-19T14:41:00.004+05:30

let it break
bleak
sink in
weak

wreaking
me slowly
consuming
wholly

i give in
get out
or is it
another round about
little trait
i dont understand
makes it hard
to hold your hand

bending
with patience
blending
infatuations
of things
not yet
understood
touch wood

so far
so good
so shut the door
shut my heart
get out
live without
us or we
cant see
eye to eye
but are angry

the battle grounds'
alive awake
ready to take
everything we've got

you're slipping
i'm tripping
the sky's black
under attack

i didn't see it
you didn't feel it
is it over?
dust settles over nothing.

"little fight"
we overhear
"alright?"
we're near

the smiles escape
and love...
the battle ground
has gone underground
like a distant memory.
forgotten story.

push aug 2010

The Cat fixation. :p

2010-07-20T10:37:00.006+05:30

ever since my cat came, we've been obsessed with him. here's proof now.
all my doodles are around cats now! ;p

the beginning and the end.

2010-06-27T15:26:00.000+05:30

The words fumble
As the appearances tumble
Down the carefully built
Mountains and seas
Of our destiny

push

underneath the stars

2010-06-18T21:02:00.003+05:30

Underneath the stars
I lie
With no one but you
On my mind

My tears flow down my face
Disappear into the ground
No one seems to hear
The silent sound

Tell me you’re here
Bring me back to life
Tell me you’re here
You’re right by my side

I think of standing up
But then I know I stand alone
It’s like all of these years
These feet weren’t my own

Tell me you’re here
Bring me
Back to life
Tell me you’re here
You’re right…by my side

I wish you didn’t leave me
In this world of pain
I wish I could be
Who I was again

I wish I could fade
Softly into the sky
Maybe you’d come to say
Say goodbye

I wish you didn’t leave me
How I wish you didn’t leave me
Underneath the stars…
I’m alone
And you’re so far.

Push 2004

wrote this song many years ago.. still sing it once in awhile.. me and my guitar :)

my new blog title image

2010-06-14T22:43:00.000+05:30

:) worked hard on it. love to have your comments.

push

i dont know again.

2010-06-02T00:00:00.000+05:30

age is a number.
time is not.

-push

I don't know

2010-05-10T19:16:00.001+05:30

I don't know
What time holds-
Except
Its holding me now.

Rest in peace Scottie...

2010-05-04T15:42:00.001+05:30

Brown eyes
Brown eyes
I'm searching for you
You were In my arms
When I was in class 5
I'm aching for you

Breathe in breathe out
Breathe easy
My baby
Innocent, your heart
Although you trust nobody

Walk with me
Did I let you down?
Did you somewhere
Trust me
And I let you drown?

My heart is in chains
Brown eyes
Don't die
I'll take it all back
And again
You'll be mine

Fire
In your soul
Anger
In your mouth
Spiralling out of control
Lashing at the crowd

But then you
Change
Rearrange
Win me over again
How many second chances
Till the pain hits again

Your hair
On my clothes
In my blood
My love
Can't dilute
But it floods

My eyes with tears
Brown eyes
I love you
I held you
Till the end
I promise
Its true

Brown eyes
There will always be
A void in my heart
Brown eyes forgive me
But I loved you from the start

For him.

2010-04-30T17:57:00.003+05:30

----- SMS ------
Sent: Apr 30, 2010 12:03 AM
Subject: Sometimes I get broody

Sometimes I get broody
And moody
On me
and you
Everybody
Is talking
Too fast
And I can't hear you

The raindrops are falling
Backwards
And I can't stop
Them from falling
Towards me

I don't like the sun
When I moody
I'm grey
I don't like the moon
Cause its as pretty as day

What gets me the most
Is when I'm moody on you
Broody on you
You know that's not true
Not the truest of me

The things in my heart
The simplest of things
Feel so heavy
When I'm moody on me

All I wanted to tell you
Was I love you
All I wanted to hear
Was the same

And when you picked up the phone
And kissed me
It started to rain

Baby I love you
Cause you are my love
You see right through me
Better than the one up above.

-Push

While the meaning was lost with growing up.

2010-04-12T21:52:00.002+05:30

Its like after the storm. Its been cold, wet, sometimes ugly. Sometimes you grow so close to people that even after years they don’t fade. Their walking away didn’t hurt, till you felt them reappear year after year, even though they were gone.
I am not talking about a lover. I am talking about friends. Not one face – fated to meet me from the crowd of many. Giggling three girls in the back of a sunny yellow car, while the meaning was lost with growing up.

I miss you all.

Silently.

sunset

2010-03-27T23:35:00.002+05:30

beautiful sunset
vivid color
what makes it perfect?
it rarely lasts an hour.

This was till he asked me:
"but does the sun really set?"

-push

Spat of the week

2010-03-01T14:40:00.003+05:30

searching

2010-02-28T10:20:00.006+05:30

The roads just happened

I was only walking

With my eyes searching the sky

For something

I’d only

Dreamt of

The moment when

I fell over and bled

Over the rocks

I wasn’t sure

If it was only

Something I’d dreamt of

Maybe the hands of time

Lifted me up

Made me walk again

I dare not look at the sky

I’m not wondering why

When the butterflies

Came and whispered

I couldn’t hear

Maybe it wasn’t something

I was meant to be a part of

God believe me

I don’t know where this is going

The roads don’t happen now

My eyes searching the ground

I don’t remember

Anything

I’d dreamt of

Push feb’010

Strange News

2010-02-09T00:54:00.004+05:30

faces in the crowd by push

2010-01-22T22:01:00.001+05:30

-push

Tyra the homeless woman.

2010-01-22T14:40:00.001+05:30

http://mallikarao.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/tyra-pretends-to-be-homeless-for-a-few-hours-gets-tricked-by-street-children/

Check it out.

And it won’t hurt at all :) a song...

2010-01-15T22:42:00.002+05:30

Let it go my baby
You know
Things just
Come to go

Sometimes I
Wake up with a broken heart
And sometimes
I mend it through the day
Anyway

I’m back to the start
My baby
But life is so big
Its easy to get lost

In the little things
That make everyday
As the little things
Matter the most to all

I know you fell
When you tried walking baby
I know it hurt a lot

But now you run
Faster than the wind
And it don’t hurt at all
No it don’t hurt at all

So close your eyes
As you hear me singing
I’m right here
With you

Dream a dream
For the whole world baby
Cause people rarely do

And through it all
You’ll hear me singing
Cause I’m right here
With you

You’ll change
All that you don’t like
Cause you only have to

Change yourself
And it won’t hurt at all
No it don’t hurt at all

-push
jan 2010-01-15

loving these right now!!! Hippo Chips :)

2010-01-14T13:56:00.004+05:30

I rarely write about food, but I love these new chips, and I love the name and ADORE the packaging! Its really nice and best part- its baked, made out of bread.
I keep a pack near my work desk :P thai-chilli is the best flavour. Its right up there now with my all time fave- CRAX!

2010-01-13T14:31:00.001+05:30

Strange. Feels like I'm chasing someone, but in my heart, I want them to get away..

I hear every whisper

2009-12-05T13:16:00.000+05:30

Feels like he’s lost
Floating somewhere in the sky
Because I asked him why
Because I couldn’t lie

Flowers and trees
Birds and bees
Growing over me
I want to be free

I’ll start from the bottom
Where I can search no more
For love and emotions
I haven’t felt before

I hear every whisper
That he speaks in his mind
He hears nothing
My heart shatters with time

-Push
2008

2009-11-07T22:36:00.000+05:30

me: dont give a shit. life is like a hot woman who needs to be ignored to get attention from.
:P

worried mind

2009-11-07T22:24:00.000+05:30

worried mind
don’t worry.
you know its never been as bad
as you’ve imagined,
so don’t hurry.

you keep jumping
to conclusions we don’t need
skipping around
stories of when you were deceived
stop running in circles, worried mind
stop and you’ll find

find the reasons for what you feel
hope will light you up and heal
you’ll forget, worried mind
you’ll forget that you were a worried mind

it’ll all work out,
worried mind.
they all love you
like they do
don’t let your worry
come between whats true

love is strong
and you are full of love
i know you can
just trust

-push.. nov 2009
for me, and my worried, worried mind..

was hearing him play...

2009-10-16T22:11:00.003+05:30

made this last year..was hearing anirudh play the guitar over the phone..his playing alsways moves me to do creative things, so started drawing while listening...and i love crayons.. :)

Marketing Dictionary!

2009-10-01T13:43:00.003+05:30

Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

All new: Parts not interchangable with previous design.

Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.

Broadcast quality: Gives a picture and produces noise.

Built to precision tolerances: We finally got it to fit together.

Customer service across the country: You can return it from most airports.

Designed simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.

Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.

Direct sales only: Factory had big argument with distributor.

Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.

Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.

Hand-crafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on.

High accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit.

High reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.

Years of development: We finally got one that works.

Improved: Didn't work the first time.

Latest aerospace technology: One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.

Meets all standards: Ours, not yours.

Microprocessor controlled: Does things we can't explain.

New: Different color from previous design.

New generation: Old design failed, maybe this one will work.

Performance proven: Will operate through the warranty period.

Re-designed: Previous faults corrected, we hope.

Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors.

Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.

Unprecedented performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.

got this from- http://www.webmarketingezine.com/marketing-jokes/marketing-jokes4.shtml#If

the heart in my cup of bournvita..

2009-09-24T23:47:00.001+05:30

..and the cover of a movie dvd next to it.. talking abt love..some sign alright.

Lose your mind now, its quite alright. Here's the sign to prove it.

2009-09-24T23:34:00.002+05:30

-push

For a Cosmopolitan I'd had...

2009-09-06T22:20:00.002+05:30

The luminous pink liquid
Spins around in my glass
I take it in
Love atlast.

The music beats
The words repeat
Echoes deep inside my soul
Make me whole

Ladies and their legs
Men and their pegs
My window to the world blurs
Silence within stirred

Luminous pink love
Stay in my glass
Despite my desire
Stay till the last

Moment of me
We'll achieve
Eternity.

-Push
Saturday, February 16, 2008, 11:03:04 PM

Spat of the week

2009-09-01T10:44:00.006+05:30

If you can't stand in my shoes,
Don't pretend you can walk like me.

-Push 10:43 am

rambling

2009-08-03T16:15:00.003+05:30

maybe I'll forget, maybe i'll regret, maybe i'll do just fine, maybe i don't have the time to think about where you left off, because maybe that's all there was.
maybe you'll show up on a cloudy day in a sunny way, and make me think maybe, maybe this is the day, that things weren't meant to be this way or maybe i'll be safe and warm and you're the storm and i don't need you, i never did, and i just took pity that you were a penniless passenger with no ticket.

push

i saw an angel :)

2009-06-16T12:16:00.002+05:30

another artwork done while in office. had to make a lot of POS material but just didn't feel like it.. my mind had been picturing this for a while.. wanted the pinks, whites and yellows to merge like some cotton candy blending my sugary thoughts and dreams..

Push-09

To The Tiger

2009-06-03T21:08:00.000+05:30

Orange, black and white
Flames that burn behind
Brilliant green blades of grass
They burn
Burn to last

The majestic movement happens
With such swift, thoughtless ease
The golden eyes barely acknowledge
As others aim to please

Alas, the sound of a bullet
Rips through the sky
The steps stumble
The golden eyes blink in shock

Destroyed with brutality
The majestic form falls to the ground
Helpless and unmoving
As others watch
The flame burn out

-Push

May- 2006

Written for a magazine we had to make as a part of our course. My magazine was called animaliac… :) This poem was and is dedicated to the Tiger.

a perfect life- artwork.

2009-05-30T12:31:00.002+05:30

An old man reflects on his life as he breathes his last. He moves in and out of memories, dreams, places and people. But what he holds dear is the paradise within his mind, where magical creatures, spring time, forests and streams of coloured light filter through his soul. He knows death cannot take away anything much. For his paradise will remain within his soul, untouched and ever growing.

Made on Photoshop CS2
Push

your orange shoe

2009-05-13T14:30:00.002+05:30

I think I’ve figured it out

It was spinning round in my head

Flowing through neon blue taps

I said

Something else instead

There was a word

In their conversation

I’d heard

I didn’t know the meaning

I was swimming

On top of a cloud

Without a doubt

Thinking

Of everything about you

How it’s sunny around you

Does it all have to do

With your orange shoe

I think I’ve slipped it out

And everyone’s heard

And seen

The little blue bear bouncing in between

My dreams

He’s cute

Causes acute

Embarrassment

To me

I swear I could see

Brilliant green grass

Twirling around your orange shoe

You did feel it didn’t you?

I’m sure it all has to do

With your orange shoe.

-Push
For my sweetheart who has orange and yellow shoes..love you baby :*

Bols Brandy rocks!

2009-05-13T14:26:00.006+05:30

www.bolsbrandy.com

2009-05-12T12:29:00.003+05:30

Is it just me, or do we get quieter as we get older?

push

Some days I wish would never end

2009-04-19T11:44:00.001+05:30

Some days I wish would never end
Some days when I can comprehend
The true meaning of having you here with me
When my heart desires eternity

Some days i wish would never end
Would stretch on, almost blend,
If they must, with another day
Another day I wish would never end

Words you say and what I hear
Are two different things but I don't fear
Because on a day I wish would never end
You always understand me, my friend

Now as sleep begins to claim me
I realize the day has ended
And you hold me
I can suddenly see

It was never the day
As long as you're here
Time loses its way
As long as you're near

Nothing really ended
And the night was splendid.

Push.
2009

omg what have i done, all i wanted was a lil fun

2009-03-23T20:01:00.003+05:30

Something from a long time ago.

2009-01-03T00:01:00.005+05:30

"A little later I found myself sitting in the car looking out of the window, with metal flowing into my ears. It was drizzling. I observed how the raindrops zig zagged on the glass and came slowly together. I wondered what their story was, what miraculous sights they had seen when they were a part of a giant cloud, which had suddenly burst, brought them to rough brown earth, shattered the beautiful shape in the sky. A phone call threw me off my train of thought. Another 'friend'. Fruitless. These endless cups of coffee ended with phone calls I never returned, laughs I never remembered."

Wednesday, April 25, 2007, 8:38:21 PM

speedy flights.

2008-12-21T16:24:00.003+05:30

Tonight didn't go as planned
I couldn't take a stand
They drove me up and down
In and about town.

I could hear them kissing
I could hear them do it
In their heads
I could feel their impatience mounting
As they counted the minutes to bed

It didn't make me want someone
It didn't make me sad
It didn't make call someone
It made my time drag

The show wasn't worth it
Mom spoilt it all for me
Coming back on time
Was as important as life could be

Dinner's over
And I had nothing to eat
No left over
I stare in disbelief

The street lights
All lit in a line
The speedy flights
All out of time

-Push

2008-12-13T03:15:00.004+05:30

i think everything is inspired by life, every bit of the world is living in some way..This maybe completely irrelevant, but i was wondering about traffic signals today. and i realized they had more power than a human being. Millions of people stop and move according to its wishes. it had its pride, and end of the day its humility- when it turned yellow, with pigeons resting on its head, it seemed to just be doing its job, And, like a saint, it was the source of income for many beggars in the area. Like a human being who likes to help.

guess my writing is too.
Stumbled down the staircase. Maybe. Many times.
This is all the bitterness i have, though.It just comes out on paper, and fades away, as time passes, it disappears.
- Push

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=3565198311856740270&postID=4508169072480834003

United.

2008-12-02T15:46:00.000+05:30

“I wish you could talk!”

2008-11-24T03:07:00.000+05:30

She looked white.
Almost dead, all the words unsaid
Echoing in her eyes
I held her close
But she chose
To wriggle away
Never say

I told her
To unfold her
Complicated world
She’s just a girl

I am so tired
Of trying
To awaken her
I will retire
With her dying

Suddenly I opened
Her eyes
Ignoring her will
She stared
Almost glared

“I wish you could talk!”
I screamed out loud
“I wish you could talk!”
Lifting the cloud

“I wish you could talk!”
Lessen the pain
“I wish you could talk!”
Become you again

She opened her mouth to speak
Numbers, words, moments and dates
A slur of thoughts seep
Into the air
And I stare
Never knew it was all in there

She goes on
And on
Her face white
Her words clearer now
Her sentences right

Color came into her eyes
Logic discarding her senseless ties
With old lies
She tries

It’ll get better
I tell her faintly
It’ll get better
And you’ll see

In the water
She appears calmer
As I reach out to touch
My reflection is distorted
But much

To my surprise
Sunrise
Greets me
New day

I know what she’d say
I know the thoughts
In her mind
The times she’s left behind
Don’t know what we’ll find

-push

crazy ride.

2008-10-25T02:40:00.001+05:30

“It was cold and still. A full moon adorned the sky. In the dim moonlight- something glittered, light filtered, shimmered.

Out came the train, out of nowhere, for reasons no one knows.

It was beautiful. It had a glistening surface, every bogie a different color, some fluorescent, some purple, some simple, some exquisite, some shabby, some black.

It moved at an astonishing speed.

The man woke up. His hands were still grasping the handle. He stared out the window. It was dark inside. Flashes of light invaded his bogie after every few seconds. He was tired. He could not see the end of the bogie it was too dark. Yet, he could hear voices. People complaining-They said that there was no space to stand, he could hear them push and fight. Yet, he had this huge place to himself. It was always dark. He looked longingly outside again. He wanted to get off the train. The journey was too long.

Suddenly she appeared. Had she lost her way? His mind questioned.

He looked at her and she smiled. He leapt forward took her hand in his.

***

The afternoon was warm and sunny. She looked so beautiful. she made her way past the hall came and sat next to him. She noted that he had ordered her favorite wine. She flashed him an uncomfortable smile.

Twisting her gorgeous hands, almost perfect, so pink and pretty, she sat looking away from him.

He asked her what was wrong. She said she didn’t feel for him anymore. She’s…outgrown him.

The man head began to spin. He said nothing. Something familiar within him reached out and closed him up. He became a stranger to her in nanoseconds. She stared, stunned by the sudden disconnect.

The rhythm was faintly playing in his head.

He was back on the train.

He lay in a corner, watching the flashes of light in the dark.

He found peace in the darkness. And as he willed it be darker, it magically, became darker.

People would lose their way and stumble into his space. He would make conversation and they left when they had to. His mind never retraced the past. He loved the way this train moved fast, so fast, everything was a blur.

***

Snatches of conversation flew to him again. He learnt that there were different people on the train. People who had less and people who had more. People who didn’t care and people who wanted to share. People who’d never dare to let anyone in, people who didn’t know where the journey begins.

***

One day he heard someone crying. It was a pained cry, he heard it the whole night. By morning, it had become a whimper. The man decided he wanted to know who was crying. He made his way out. He was afraid someone would take his home, his bogie away if he left it. But now that he knew its every nook, he decided he’d prove it was his if someone mistook.

He walked into the darkness of something new, and found it was filled with light. He asked how the light came on, they said you had to want it bad enough.

He found the person who was crying. She was stunned to see him. She wanted to know why he came. He said he had come because her crying irritated him and she should shut up.

She burst out laughing and suddenly held him tight.

He asked her to let go and she refused. He felt very confused.

***

The train suddenly split into two.

Smoke and shimmer separated the flying train as it split.

The man found himself lying on the floor; he looked around for the strange girl who had hugged him. She was nowhere to be seen.

He missed her.

He saw that she was staring at him from the window in the train running parallel to his.

He ran towards the window and reached out. She reached out too. They were suddenly holding hands.

He looked up. He saw the most beautiful sunset. He saw the flowers lying alongside. They were pretty. He was certain she’d like them. He asked the driver to hurry. The driver said it was a car not a plane. The man smirked in response, thoughts elsewhere.

***

The man’s bogie was full of air and light as he stared from his bogie out at the girl on the train running alongside. He shouted out what she wanted to hear. Her face was bright with warmth.”

***

The girl was smiling as she finished her story.

Fingers traced the sky as they sat hand in hand staring at the big bright moon.

The girl said “the train is our lives. We’re all on it. People we don’t expect to meet. Time is passing us by. Don’t shut yourself in, look out.”

“But why did the train split?” The man asked.

The girl said: “to show you. That we’re different. We’ll always be. We can’t be one. But we can always be together…”

-Push

flashes

2008-10-17T15:51:00.005+05:30

Falling.

2008-10-05T16:49:00.001+05:30

The walls have pictures of you and me. I’m tired of walking beside it, its an endless wall. You don’t run to me anymore, with your beautiful smile. I want that summer where the rays of the sun would go through me and into my heart.
The sky turned grey and black. My tears fell into my hands. It felt strange and empty. I wanted to tell you what you were doing to me.

But I could not.

They’re all faces in the crowd. Faces who mean nothing to me. I’ve stopped trying to believe there’s anyone like you, they made me take out all I had only to burn it, in front of my eyes. You would’ve cried if you knew.

All those times we shared, grow sweeter, a shade brighter… as everything I see around me gets darker...

-push

Sugar

2008-10-04T13:03:00.004+05:30

Moments unforgettable
The packet of sugar in my bag

Sins not regrettable

So much fun I’ve had

The weather’s perfect

I didn’t search it

I drew in my cup

Smiled at my luck

Not subtle but sweet

In another heartbeat

He was there again

Smiling at the tea stain

The clouds are black and white

Another dreamy flight

Even if nothing’s going right

I’ll find a way that’s right

Unforgettable moments

To pull me through

Dreams that cement

My way to you

-Push
Sept'08

Daydream.

2008-08-20T20:49:00.001+05:30

The rain falls all over my face.

Only it’s not the rain, but maybe my eyes are watering. The sun’s too harsh.

It’s right in my eye. I hate it. I love it. I’ll figure it out another time.

Anyway, I was hearing a different song when he came along.

It was the wrong song.

Because I saw him fall, right over the pavement, in the horrid way that attracts a lot of attention, makes a lot of uncaring strangers care enough to notice it, make a note of it, and go about doing what they were.

He picked himself up. I didn’t try and help. Of course I’m an uncaring stranger as well. That’s how he would like me anyway.

But the song was all wrong. And it was too late. I had already painted a beach behind him, his clothes were off and sand was glittering on his skin. He was smiling a brilliant smile. Another bright white light that made my eyes water.

The music was crazy. All the words he said were twisted and jumbled. I was staring at him, shamelessly, in the way that those ugly men in a girl’s worst nightmares do. (Girls in Delhi, I might add.) But he was enjoying it. Did I tell you the song was all wrong?

I should have put my finger on fast forward, changed the song, probably a Megadeth track would’ve put things right, shaken me into reality. All it would’ve taken- a small touch-a gentle push on my ipod- maybe life would’ve played right.

The song was nearing its end. I knew it. I’ve heard it a million times. This was the part- right after the careful voice modulation, the ceaseless guitar solo that’s just beginning to fade.

“You probably done it to a hundred guys!” he was screaming. I covered my ears.

I could see the sun going down behind his face. ‘Wait,’ I thought.

The pavement was bare. I could see a silhouette in the distance. I started to smile.

Megadeth is next.

The Smoked Salmon Mousse Craving!!! I want it!!!

2008-08-11T16:29:00.005+05:30

Had this at the Taj in Mumbai.... have been craving it endlessly.......it was beyond anything i've ever had! :( Even nutella can't compare.

:(

i waaaant! :(

The reasons

2008-08-01T21:10:00.004+05:30

He comes and he goes

Like the wind that blows

Over my face

Only to erase

The feelings that grip me

The feelings that fool me and trip me

I have learnt to walk away

I have learnt to never say

What’s on my mind

Because you never know

What you can find

On the other side

No reason to confide

No reason to involve

No reason to evolve

Under the stars

Speeding cars

Street lights lit in a line

Trying to define

A definite shape

A system that’s fake

Careless, careless

My little dreams

He floats in again

Like the gentle breeze

He’s lost again

There’s anger and pain

A glaring stain

Left to retain

Test me, test me

Take the best of me

And detest me

On the other side

No reason to trust the god above

No reason to free the dove

No reason to love

Push

twirl

2008-08-01T20:58:00.002+05:30

Swirl, twirl

I love the way

You spin

Round my head

I love the way I feel

I love what you reveal

Dance a little closer

Make my heart beat

A little faster

Hear

My laughter

As it echoes

In the air

and

In the music

As we move

Through it

Through

The neon lights

I can still feel your eyes

On me

No one’s with me

No one else can be

-Push

The last letter

2008-07-29T02:11:00.000+05:30

I hope you find all that you were looking for, and so much more. I hope you can find happiness within yourself and all around you. Within your eyes is the most beautiful paradise, and when you smile, all that was lost is found.

-Push

"Pipin"...... (1997-2008)

2008-07-20T19:23:00.003+05:30

Met this beautiful child when I was shooting my film 'imagine' with my team.
Very lively, bubbly and beautiful personality...taught me a lot about life.

These are a few frames of him from my film..

Keeping Distance

2008-07-19T14:51:00.001+05:30

Drifting in and out. Spiraling out of control. Time is rising like a wave over my head, I open my eyes and its washed me away. Never thought i'd see myself sitting here all alone. The three empty chairs stare at me. What did I do to get here... Feel like I disappeared like a photograph lost in time.

Ashes. In my head. Something that's burnt and gone, grey and black. And there comes the wind sweeping with it all I had left...

The phone lines are not clear. I can't hear. Isn't that it? Its not like you didn't call, no not at all.

Maybe i'm looking ahead. Maybe I have nothing to look back on.

A moment

2008-06-28T21:49:00.004+05:30

I had just moved on

And the light of day

Made me feel

I’ve forgotten yesterday.

The dark shades of betrayal

Still hide in the shadows

I dare not look at them

They love to follow.

It feels like your hands

Over my skin

Feels like hands

Tearing everything within..

Girly Boy

2008-06-22T14:55:00.007+05:30

I wrote this for all the girly boys who are suddenly replacing real men. The ones who take hours to dress, talk like girls, walk like girls, bitch like girls and PMS like girls. And you know what, they don't like boys! They're fun but they're so like girls and not girls, they date girls like a girl would date a guy...

Turning round and round

See who’s watching you

And there’s nobody there

Staring into nowhere

Girly, delicate boy

When you know its no use

Why don’t you just face the abuse

She comes along

Sings her song

Her flowing long hair

She takes you nowhere

She clings to you

Her little body moving

Faster than your mind can think

You know every shade

Of her lipstick

Sticky stick

You got your skinny frame

You’ve got the gift of the gab

Your dreams are lame

You’re constantly stabbed

You argue just like a child

It always takes you awhile

To get to where you’re going

Your face is just like a girl

And your mind is a whirl

Of emotional things

Of summers and springs

Girly, delicate boy

You wrote it all down

Her lines and yours

She thought you were a toy

You woke up everyday

With so much to say

That you could never hear

(incomplete)

Push

Ha, ha, ha.

2008-06-10T00:20:00.002+05:30

Ha, ha, ha.

I can hear you laughing at me. Deep inside those big black eyes, I can see it all.

Ha, ha, ha.

There you go again. Laughing till I go insane with the pain. Noise is what other people become when you’re near me. Every bit of me strained and tensed.

I will fade when you wake in the morning.

I will disappear from your phone, your photographs and your mailing list. I will haunt you. I will come back to you when you least expect it. So many stories you’ll hear in your ears, all day. Till you’re senseless and can’t hear a thing you say.

We laughed a lot that day. I had tried so hard to please you. Did all I could to make you happy. I was broken inside when you laughed at me. The coffee I’d made for us slipped from my hands. I was standing in the middle of shattered glass when your laughter echoed in my ears. I laughed with you, glass beneath my skin.

Such a beautiful memory. Everything we did together, vivid and colorful history.

I can see your head is aching. I can hear you thinking.

You can’t see very well. Was it all a dream? The shy girl in your dreams wasn’t as real as she seemed. Did she fade with every day, or was she a dream in every way. You can smell her scent. She laughed with you, twisting her hands anxiously as she laughed.

You’re crying now. It can’t be. It can’t be. I wasn't a dream by your side. I was real. Living and breathing, Laughing and seething. With every day you sent me further away. And now you'll have to pay.

You can hear them laughing at you. Deep inside those big black eyes, you can see it all.

I see you shiver.

Ha, ha, ha.

I wonder about you

2008-06-05T14:21:00.002+05:30

I wonder about you

And time stands still

I wonder about you

Hate fills me still

I wonder about you

And then I wonder why

I wonder about you

And your wandering eye

I’ll probably never see you again

I’ll probably outgrow the pain

And every memory stored

Will fade as I start to get bored

I’m wondering about you

Wondering about you still

I’m dreaming now

Dreaming at will

How much you’ve changed

How much has been re-arranged

Will I catch my reflection in your eyes?

Will I hear another lie?

Look away

I don’t want you to see

Step away

And let me be

Why do I feel

You already know

I wonder about you

Every minute or so

I wonder about you

And time stands still

I wonder about you

Hate fills me still

Push

2008-05-29T13:24:00.001+05:30

Did you hold him close?

Felt yourself

Blindfolded and tied

Till you couldn’t move your toes

Did you hold him close?

annoy-nomus comments.

2008-05-22T11:02:00.003+05:30

Dear Anonymous friends of mine-

I've disabled you guys. Now don't be waiting for your limbs to fall off,

its just virtually.

Cointreau

2008-05-14T11:24:00.002+05:30

Beautiful ads turn me on! Cointreau Poster I recently adapted.

blinded blue teddy

Children

the furry playlist :6

1) Mafia Bianca LLC - I Am Changing

3) Joe Satriani - A cool new way

my (hell of a cutie) cat

my secret letter to you

where i've been, made, seen, felt...

The Furry Playlist5. lotsa old loves..not forgotten though

Trickbaby - Fighter

Zero – PSP 12"

Gotye -Somebody That I Used To Know feat. Kimbra

Marlon Roudette - New Age

the furry playlist- 4

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had.

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had.

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had.

Ian Pooley - What's Your Number

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll

Porcupine Tree - Strip The Soul

We're an old oil painting

what i've been upto...

C major

the Furry Playlist-III

John Mayer- I Don't Trust Myself

Eskobar- Move on

Mr. Mister- The Tube

Travis- Driftwood

A Perfect Circle- The Noose

love note

High-ness.

the Furry Playlist-2

pattern love...

The Furry Playlist.

Spat of the Week

straight trees and swingers,

//////////////////shadows/////

like a baby

bits and pieces

album and album art I adore

random conclusion

messages.

cigarette smoke

when life starts to standardize.

will he?

So...wake up!

new blog image

Faraway Train

Miss-ery.

Going Blank.

the same song

I told someone..

Sometimes

just wanted to say it.

awwdi!

She was made out of rain

You can't lock anything really.

Five minute fights.

The Cat fixation. :p

the beginning and the end.

underneath the stars

my new blog title image

i dont know again.

I don't know

Rest in peace Scottie...

For him.

While the meaning was lost with growing up.

sunset

Spat of the week

searching

Strange News

faces in the crowd by push

Tyra the homeless woman.

And it won’t hurt at all :) a song...

loving these right now!!! Hippo Chips :)

I hear every whisper

worried mind

was hearing him play...

Marketing Dictionary!

the heart in my cup of bournvita..