Saturday, September 29, 2007

the forest

There was rustling in the leaves
The moon crept out from behind the trees
Our footsteps left traces in the sand
I looked at you as I held your hand

Broken, disjointed paths
Thoughts forming and breaking within my head
Our laughter echoed, our eyes twinkled
Like luminous beads of sweat

The spaces in between
Our words
We filled with kisses
The spaces in between
Our love
We filled with denial

We reached the lake
Swam in its green blue water
Took time to make
What would be remembered there after

The forest whispered
Into my ear
But your stare
Made sure I shouldn’t hear

I saw the metal in the pale moonlight
And in the look in your eyes
Fear set in
Sand glittered on my skin

The blade was cool and wet
I wondered why you wept
As I lay awaiting death

I can smell you
I’m taking you in
I’ll miss you
Can’t I breathe you in?

Stab me, stab me again
I didn’t see it coming
I can’t bear the pain
Can’t bear what I’m becoming

Goodbye my love
I feel no hate
Goodbye my love
I guess it was fate

Do not tell anyone
Of this night in the forest
Don’t think of what you’ve done
Tonight in the forest
This night in the forest
This night in the forest…

pushpanjali banerji

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dark November.

Dark November.
Nov 2006

My darling Mrinalini…this is for you

The sun caught your eye
As your face- lit up to smile
And as I quietly gazed
It took a while
Till you told the tale
Of what was in your heart.

I caught your hands
Your tiny hands
Took them in mine
And began to cry
Like I’ve never done before
For, you said you’d speak no more.

Tears were in my eyes
As I waited
For the endless November night
To say good bye
To slowly die.

The air was cold
Or maybe it was warm
I saw a calm sea
Or maybe a storm
I screamed aloud
Weren’t you lost-
So you could be found?

I wish to feel your breath
I wish to feel your hair
I want you all around me
But you’re not there
What can I do
To be close to you

You brought me up
You made me strong
We grew together
And all along
I was alone
I’m on my own.

Where was it
That your mind
Led you to-
What was it
That you had to find

Blindly you followed
Selfishly hollowed
Just to reach up there
Giving me up was the fare

Tears are in my eyes
As I wait
For the endless November night
To say goodbye
To slowly die

Wont you come to me
In my dreams again
Show me your love
Expose your pain
And tell that bloodied tale
All over again

I’ll wait to watch the sun
Catch your eye
As you laugh
And as you cry
For in the sun
We shine as one

The tangles in your long brown hair
Created with the wind
Your loose brown hair
Flying everywhere
So much to share

Dark November night
Fade slowly.
As the ray of light
Invades your colour

Hold on tight
It’s just a dark November night
Don’t give up now
You have to fight
You will discover
Your true colour.

Pushpanjali Banerji

Sometimes Vicious Husband

Sometimes Vicious Husband

Broken rays of light
Illuminate shattered glass.
It was another hard night
That’s ended at last.

I watch as they sparkle,
Stained with my blood
Luminous pieces of glass-
At least when you shattered
You were heard.

Tears flow down my face
As I unwillingly retrace
I wish I could drown the pain
I pray I wouldn’t be battered again

He makes his way towards me
His footsteps heavy and loud
I tremble as fear invades me
A cry from within suddenly aloud

I don’t want to hold these hands who beat me
And hold me not to make me whole
Who use their strength to defeat me
And scar my heart and soul

His eyes scan
My mangled state
Sympathy in his tone
Designed to devastate

In one swift movement
He lifts my bloodied body
Distancing himself from my lament
He places a pillow beside me

I look at his face
His features-
Twisted in animation
His words are calming
Aiming to erase
All my anger, hate, intimidation

Deteriorate and die
The bond of marriage mocks me
No more tears I can bear to cry
For what this man does to me

Society says he’s my friend
Tradition says he’ll be there till the end
Through the ups and downs we strive
And I wonder how long I will survive

He brushes my hair aside
Holds me gently, sits down beside
I stare at the face of my lover
My savior
My friend
And sometimes vicious husband

Push Banerji.