Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Grey Skies Turn Blue- (Also the name of my favourite MxPx song)

Grey Skies Turn Blue- (Also the name of my favourite MxPx song)

There’s so much to say. So many things just buzzing in my head. It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way.
I’ve felt it before- when I was so busy listening to the voices in my head that just I stood there, looking at the person before me. I said nothing at all. I wasn’t asked, urged to speak. Just an empty silence. I don’t remember which one of walked away first, but when I was back in my full consciousness- I was standing alone.
I don’t know if I’ll see him again. I don’t know if I want to. A vague sense of desire tugs at my heart from time to time.

Grey skies turn blue. I’m waiting. There have been many beautiful sunsets, but I want a clear blue sky. Where I can trust blindly again. Fall freely.

*** *** ***

Who knows where I’ll be. I won’t be here in my room typing things at unearthly hours a few months down the line. I’d probably be getting my luggage and crying my way to the airport. I’m struggling to keep today alive. I feel it slipping. I don’t want to grow up. I want to be this pretty just- turned-twenty year old for the rest of my life. I want to wear my skinny jeans everyday, have my nails painted this bright peach-pink always.

I hate that I never have the time to even call someone back. I hate that I’m such a workaholic, I hate that I can’t spend endless hours with friends in random shoe shops. I hate that I’m always tired, always at edge.
I hate that I don’t believe in love. That I can never compromise the way I used to. That I think more about ads and business than clothes.

I don’t want to go abroad. I don’t want this night, this unearthly hour to pass. I don’t want to lose my friends to time zones. Its not like I’m leaving tomorrow, but it feels like it.

-Pushpanjali Banerji
(Yes Japna- give the pep talk, yo ma biatch, love you. :)
and anonymous- :)

( And Suren this was what the stressed out sms was about.)

Pushpanjali Banerji


Anonymous said...

there is no point brooding over the future and causing yourself unnecessary wrinkles. DONT WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE!

live in the present, and look forward to the future. just make sure you make the present count as much as possible, so that you have a happy future.

if there is one thing i've learned, its that you should NEVER worry about the future. things will work out nicely someway or the other, if there is the will and urge to do so.

and one last thing: chillax! nobody is going anywhere yet! even if he/she is, doesn't mean that you guys will forget each other.

what say to this "sadhu baba gyaan"? :P

Anonymous said...

i say this sadhu is bloody sweet and bloody wise! :P

Jasmine said...

"I don't want to loose my friends to timezones"

I know the feeling,

you won't!

Japna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Japna said...

no timezones can come between you and those you call your friends.

know it from knowing jazz!
much love :)

Anonymous said...

heard the song: cute! enjoyed it!!! 120,000% punk :)

*oh sorry math! sorry sorry :P

vaibhav said...

Looks like my cute little kiddo looks a bit stressed, is it....just let me know.


Gaurav Alagh said...

i will just say ... welcome... u are now a grown up... and tasting the "uncertain-certainties" of life.. for which one often seeks answers, and is always left with questions! You wont loose anyone, i wont claim that. You will loose everyone (a universal truth), but its upto you to decide whom do u wana keep a little longer...

Sakshi said...

hey baby, all of us feel like this.. seriously .. just chill.. que sera sera.. whatever will be will be... enjoy NOW.. ;)

Sakshi said...

hey baby, all of us feel like this.. seriously .. just chill.. que sera sera.. whatever will be will be... enjoy NOW.. ;)

Anonymous said...

u know the difference between this post of urs and ur previous poem ..'and his heart'..? In this one, you're voicing what you don't want and in the previous one, what you do want. The law of life works in such a mystic way that it brings more of what you do want and also more of what you do not want..most of the time we're hating something or just dont want something very strongly.. well, dear, try to focus on what you do want coz its much better that u get that..and the universe is listening to every word u say..
hope this makes sense..


Japna said...

love the picture!! your phone can do wonders!!

push said...

it can!