Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

I can hear you laughing at me. Deep inside those big black eyes, I can see it all.

Ha, ha, ha.

There you go again. Laughing till I go insane with the pain. Noise is what other people become when you’re near me. Every bit of me strained and tensed.

I will fade when you wake in the morning.

I will disappear from your phone, your photographs and your mailing list. I will haunt you. I will come back to you when you least expect it. So many stories you’ll hear in your ears, all day. Till you’re senseless and can’t hear a thing you say.

We laughed a lot that day. I had tried so hard to please you. Did all I could to make you happy. I was broken inside when you laughed at me. The coffee I’d made for us slipped from my hands. I was standing in the middle of shattered glass when your laughter echoed in my ears. I laughed with you, glass beneath my skin.


Such a beautiful memory. Everything we did together, vivid and colorful history.

I can see your head is aching. I can hear you thinking.

You can’t see very well. Was it all a dream? The shy girl in your dreams wasn’t as real as she seemed. Did she fade with every day, or was she a dream in every way. You can smell her scent. She laughed with you, twisting her hands anxiously as she laughed.

You’re crying now. It can’t be. It can’t be. I wasn't a dream by your side. I was real. Living and breathing, Laughing and seething. With every day you sent me further away. And now you'll have to pay.

You can hear them laughing at you. Deep inside those big black eyes, you can see it all.

I see you shiver.

Ha, ha, ha.

14 comments:

Crimson Feet said...

boy!!!.... that was something!!.... scared me, from under my skin.. a mad laughter coming from behind tapping me on my shoulder!!!

i hope this was purely a work of imgination!

goood stuff!

nirmal said...

stop laughin now...the man has already paid enough...

Babushka said...

there definitely is music in the laughter of vengeance!

hi btw! got here through ragini's blog!

Ragini said...

I wonder where all this comes from...do you really know such mean, misguided people?
Laughter. How deceiving it can be. When it loses its genuinness, it becomes noise. I wish we could all laugh when we want to and not when we don't. In a way, its become a way to brush away a violation committed against us, to forget and forgive the person you want to please so much. Laugh and forgive. But you never can forget.

nirmal said...

must admit i've come bk again to go thru this...pushpanjali baneji, you have begin to scare me...

nirmal said...

LOL

Never ceases to ram through my heart
Like a sharp spade
But its still good to see you
Laugh out loud…

Never ceases to make me roll down
One or two down my cheeks
But its still good to see you
Laugh out loud…

Never ceases to fill me with hate
And the ugly feeling to kill you
But its still good to see you
Laugh out loud…

push said...

Crimson Feet-*Be Afraid....Be verrry afraid" *HAHAHAHA* (eViL laugh)

Nirmal- I'm not laughing. Get out from under your bed! :P

Babushka- :) Is that really your name? Its beautiful! what does it mean?

Ragini-My girl. its all in my head. :) I love the way you've interpreted it... You've given it more meaning, than i had ever imagined!

nirmal said...

i cannot really hide under my bed. a hideous monstor sleeps there every night. But yeah, good ta know u r nt laughing anymore...

Kartiek Agarwal said...

well, if I remember right, Babushka are Russian dolls? Did you grow up in Moscow by any chance? I am sorry to clog your blog with this though push.

nirmal said...

babushka is an russian elderly woman, i guess (my dad is well versed in russian lingo). but she doesnt seem to be an old lady...

push said...

@ nirmal- I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean an elderly lady!

nirmal said...

yeh i know...the name is beautiful, anyway

Ragini said...

Babushka, my friend...I shall now explain the meaning of your lovely name to these inquisitive people.
It mean:
1. An old lady in Russian
2. A triangular scarf which Russian women used to wear.

While Babs was at my place 2 weeks back, we researched on her name and found another interesting fact.

The lady who was possibly responsible for J.F.Kennedy's assasination stood in the crowd and wore a triangular scarf. No one knows till now who she was...she was hence nicknamed "The Babushka Lady."

So Babs is a dangerous woman...hehehehe

nirmal said...

J.F.Kennedy's assasinator's identity is known, miss...kindly research, twas a young man of 24...